Rodney O. Lain passed away a few days later on June 16th, 2002 – six years ago yesterday. He took his own life with a gun to the head sometime in the late night/early morning of the 15th and lived for one day more (I imagine just as a final “Fuck you” to the gun – He was that type of guy). There is rarely a day or two that goes by that I do not think of Rodney. He was my friend. I miss him. I miss being able to share my life as it is today with him. My beautiful wife, the strong lovely young men my sons are becoming, my beautiful baby girl… I often think about how much fun he would be having right now with Apple enjoying such great success (I can imagine him writing “The iPhone is the Whitey of the mobile phone industry”). Not to mention the strong possibility of having a “Brotha” in the White House. What kind of writing about it all we are missing. Words that might make us laugh, or piss us off or bother to think.
I spend every year on this day with the greatest feeling of loss and loneliness just thinking about what Rodney has missed and what I have missed by not having him here. I always think the pain will be not as bad as the previous year. The wound not as fresh and deep. And yet, here I am, not remembering it ever being as bad as it is today.
He was an Apple fan when no one else was. He believed at a time when most of the rest of the world was counting the days until Apple’s demise. Despite a good job, he made a point of working at computer retailer so he could spend time in the PC section “converting the sinners”. He wrote about it all with passion, fire, and the purpose of forcing people to think.
Though it may seem a bit dated now, seriously, stop reading this and go read his body of work. It’s better than just about anything else I can point you to today. Certainly better than anything I will write here…
Every day, I come to this keyboard just hoping that I can bang something out about the world of Apple even half as good as Rodney did. I fail, yet I keep on trying. Because I owe it to him. I owe it to you. I owe it to me.
Fuck you, Rodney. You talented, self-righteous, brilliant, selfish piece of shit who robbed us of your light and talent…
I miss you.